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SOOOO….let’s cut the small talk and all the introductory
stuff about how I’ve been doing….and let’s get right into it.
For the past couple weeks I’ve been feeling SOOO heavy in my
spirit. My ministry is house visitations. I teamed up with 3 girls and we walk
through the township and pray for people, visit people in their houses, etc
etc. We do A LOT of ATLs….ATL stand for Ask the Lord…where you basically
“ask The Lord” what he wants you to do…and you wait for God to
speak to you. It’s an AMAZING thing. IT REALLY IS….. But that’s where my
frustration comes from. It’s amazing for everyone else but me….because I’ve
never heard the Lord.
For weeks I’ve been begging and pleading with God.
“Father, SPEAK TO ME”…” I’m longing to hear your
voice.”…”I’m desperately seeking your guidance”…and nothing.
It seems as though God was speaking to every1 but me. So for weeks day in and
day out it was something that I struggled with…until one day….
I was reading the bible and praying when I got… I wouldn’t
say angry… but…frustrated with my situation. I closed my bible, closed my
journal, folding my hands, and got on my knees as though I were in Sunday
school. I began to pray… then my eyes began to tear…the more I prayed the
harder I cried. The more I cried…the harder I prayed. Until my few lonely
sniffles and tears turned into just a RIVER of emotions. I felt so hopeless…I felt
like for some strange reason I wasn’t good enough to hear God’s voice. Maybe
God was discontent with something I did, maybe I simply didn’t pray for the
right things, whatever the case may be I just wished he would speak to me.
I stopped crying…wiped away my tears… and started reading my
bible again. Right before I opened my bible I said “God, this is my last time
asking you…PLEASE…speak to me.” And
that’s when it gets awesome. I was reading James before I closed my bible…my
book mark was on James 4 when I began to pray…but for some reason it was on 1
Kings….1 Kings 19 to be exact. So I began to read.
It was the story of Elijah, when God told him to go on the
mountain and wait for him. So Elijah obeyed…..and waited. Suddenly a MIGHTY
wind blew through the mountain breaking off huge chunks of it …but the Lord
wasn’t in the wind. After the wind an earthquake came through…making the ground
underneath him tremble…but still no sign of God. THEN!!!!! Fire fell upon the
mountains…BUT STILL no God. After all that… God finally spoke…in a whisper……A
WHISPER
WOWOWOWOWOWWWWWW…..this whole time…I’ve been expecting God
to speak to me in this MIGHTY THUNDEROUS BOOM. Where the entire townships
shakes and lightning falls from the sky…and God in a DEEP voice yells from the
heavens…. “DAVIE!!!!”….. but no….
He speaks in a whisper.
Then I was humbled when I realized that for the past two
weeks God HAS been speaking to me…I’ve just been too loud to hear his whisper.
He speaks to me in the tears of Evelyn… a lady who had a
stroke. The lower half of her body doesn’t move so she’s confined to a bed…a
bed full of urine and feces because she can’t get up to go to the bathroom…but
still thanks us for going to visit her.
He speaks to me through the smiles of the 5 children from
Lesotho, who although they are refugees with no mother, no father, no food, no
clothing, no shoes… they can still smile and be happy with the little that God
HAS given them.
He speaks to me through the words of Noma…who has HIV…but
says “God loves me”….and that LOVE motivates her to start a breakfast program
to feed kids who don’t have enough money to feed themselves.
He speaks to me through baby Enza…who is on the brink of
death from SEVERE malnourishment…a baby that’s 7 months old but fits into
newborn size clothing.
He speaks to me through the joy of Sweetness…who has HIV,
sits at home all day with nothing to do and no job….but can look me in the eyes
and confidently declare that she’s a child of God.
God completely spoke to me…God completely humbled me… God
has been trying to talk to me all along…All I had to do was such up and listen
